Ramesh is an Engineering Manager in a Software Product company. During a recent one on one interaction, his manager asked him if everything is fine with him. Surprised, Ramesh asked in turn, why he is asking that way. Then his manager shared his observations that Ramesh looked restless, always in a hurry, lost in some thoughts, not focused during meetings. Ramesh got shocked that what he was trying to hide and manage (else, people may think he is unable to cope with and is an under-performer), has become visible to others. He got more worried and started exploring how to manage his anxiety, fear and sleeplessness.
What can Ramesh do to manage himself better?
Possible Solutions:
At a tactical level, Ramesh can start attempting small challenges and get success in them, which will boost his confidence. And look at what skills will help him to deal with some of the bigger challenges he is facing.
But more importantly, more strategically, he should look at how to manage his mind better – managing the thoughts, emotions and feelings. If we observe our anxiety and fears closely, we can notice that they are not real – they are typically the exaggerated false projection of future by the mind. Mindfulness techniques have been found extremely useful to deal with such mind. Neuroscience researches have shown that regular practice of Mindfulness techniques bring significant transformation in brain, nervous system and endocrine system etc. For example, they reduce the grey matter in amygdala, which is known for fight or flight trigger and increases grey matter in neocortex which is a higher awareness brain, thus transforming one to more calm & composed person. Research also shows that Mindfulness techniques change the hormones in endocrine system leading to more responding than reacting personality. You can explore about Mindfulness techniques and research here: https://pm-powerconsulting.com/mindful-leadership/
We call this ‘Managing Outside by Mastering Inside’ – if we have to deal with more challenging people & situations, we need more inner mastery.
Pls share your suggested solution here. My suggestion is Ramesh could first list out factors possibly causing him anxiety. Group them by personal and work. Next list out a few actions to try. Find one that is small yet could result in early win and action on them. And start improving himself incrementally. He should tell aloud that he will be sharing minutes of meeting so that it leaves him no choice but to hold himself responsible to staying focused in meetings and performing at his best.
Thanks for the response meeza. That’s certainly some good baby steps to take. I have posted a few more approaches which may be even more profound, based on my experience.