Speaking ‘Up’

Introduction

Many managers and emerging leaders have trouble with speaking up – may be expressing their opinion in a peer forum, speaking in the presence of senior leaders within the organization, expressing their views with customer leaders, etc. They then worry about lack of visibility. This problem reminds me of the story of the beautiful princess and a brave man!

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful princess. The king decided that only a brave man should marry her. He chose a challenge that any man could achieve but very few will attempt. The contestant would have to swim across a river infested with crocodiles and the princess will be waiting on the other side with a garland for the first one to come across. On the day, thousands of people gathered at the banks of the river at the starting point wondering who would be the lucky one. Many had heard about the beauty of princess and had come from far and wide to contest. At the same time, they were petrified by the crocodiles splashing around in the water. The king’s guard waved a large flag signalling the start of the challenge and a hush fell over the crowd. No one moved and a whole minute passed that felt like eternity for all. Suddenly one man was in the water swimming vigorously to the other side. He got out on the other side in quick time and princess was about to garland him. He shouted angrily, “now wait a minute! I first want to know who pushed me into the water”.

There is a great message in the story for all those who are afraid to speak up. They all want recognition and career growth, and they know they need to make their presence felt. They are held back by their fears and limiting beliefs – what will others think if they say the wrong thing, what if I do not know the answers to questions, I do not know the topic well enough, my English language is not good enough, etc.

The question is what will push them to speak up. Would their professional vision be the motivator? Would the fear of consequences of the VUCA world push them to change? What could be some strategies to get them started?

Scenarios outside of comfort zone

In this article, we will focus on practical strategies that will help people speak ‘up’. There are many flavours to speaking ‘up’:

1. Expressing Disagreement – how will others react? Will I sour the relationship?
2. Unfamiliar topic – I have nothing to share; What if I say something wrong?
3. Speaking up in front of a senior Leader within the organization – I do not understand the business language; How will I be judged?
4. Discussion with a Customer leader – What if I am asked a question that I cannot answer? I may be forced to commit on the spot
5. Unfamiliar people/environment – I do not know these people; What is acceptable in this environment

Common theme in all these flavours of ‘Up’: All the abovesaid situations are above their comfort zone and the inherent uncertainty either paralyses them or makes them avoid these situations.

Often, they switch to ‘active listening’ mode that does not put them on the spot. While ‘active listening’ has an important part in communication, it is not an escape route to avoid speaking. Emerging leaders and managers need to practice active speaking to make their presence felt.

Strategies for improving – 3 Cs

There are three strategies that will get emerging leaders out of their comfort zone: Communication; Connect; Courage.

1. Communication (what and how)

Emerging leaders should equip themselves with ‘what’ and ‘how’ of communication.

1. Societal acumen – Awareness of what is happening around them in the society; there is no need to be an expert in world matters but should know important news and trends and have a point of view.
2. Business acumen – Understanding of the world of business and industry; it starts with an understanding of their company’s strategy, financials, levers but also needs to understand their competition and market; learn to see the business world through the lens of senior management; connecting the dots to understand how various aspects of business come together.
3. Language skills – Get good enough; It is not necessary to be a literary expert however it is important to feel good enough and that level could vary with individuals; Reading is a great habit to develop language skills and I would recommend reading of fiction and non-fiction covering diverse and nuanced topics; Finally embrace speaking opportunities e.g. Toastmasters.

2. Connect

Emerging leaders should be able to see people as people and not objects

1. Participation in group settings – important to contribute through group work and engage in discussions; A few useful tips follow: Understand others’ world view; Stay in the topic and time your turn; Active speaking requires one to listen actively, think on one’s feet, jump into the conversation, and the need to be crisp
2. Conflict Resolution – it starts with embracing conflicts; Disagreement is a learning opportunity; you and the other side are humans; Emotional Intelligence is at the heart of one’s ability to handle conflicts effectively.
3. Self-Regulation and Empathy – these are essential to connect with people; Without the ability to manage emotions, it is exceedingly difficult to have a rational conversation. One simple skill is the ability to label own and others’ emotions in the moment; research shows labelling moves brain activity from the limbic system to the part of the brain that supports rational thought.

3. Courage

Courage is always there in us; we simply need to uncover it.

1. Discovering your limiting beliefs is the starting point – these might stem from your nature, your upbringing, or your life experiences so far. New experiences that challenge your limiting beliefs can be liberating; Emerging leaders need to be patient and kind to themselves but be persistent at the same time
2. Practicing Mindfulness – Stay in the present moment during a discussion; Calm mind is vital to engage productively; breath watch is a simple and powerful technique when practiced consistently; Journaling can help remove biases about people and situations

Summary

For the most part, Communication and Connect are business and behavioural skills that can be mastered through practice and perseverance. However, Courage is a lot more subtle and can be surfaced with deeper meditative practices that promote self-reflection and self-discipline.

My best tip for anyone who wants to speak ‘up’: Start now! The longer you hold back, the harder it gets!